Monday, January 31, 2011

Overheard Conversations: Becoming a Parent

A man said to his pregnant female co-worker: "You know, once you have kids your life is over."
She replied, "No, it's just beginning."

I'm not a parent, but in my mind there is a measure of truth in both statements. Becoming a parent is the end of one chapter in your life and the beginning of another. It's like a dramatic plot twist where your entire role changes as well as your outlook for the future. No longer is it just your future you are concerned with, but the future of your child. The end of one thing, the beginning of another. What do you think?

Notice Regarding Housekeeper:

Dear Patients,

This notice is to inform you that the Masked Housekeeper has been spotted cleaning in your area. The Masked Housekeeper has the ability to clean with deathly silence. If you happen to fall asleep, she may clean your room without you ever being aware of her presence. Please, do not be alarmed. She is merely doing her job and you can be assured that you are not in any danger. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact the Environmental Services Department at extension 1081. Thank you!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Dear Patients

If you feel the sensation of a pleasant breeze on your backside as you move about your room, please take a moment to tie your gown. WE DO NOT CARE TO SEE YOUR BUSINESS!

Busy, Busy

Well, the hospital has been really busy. They are finally sending people home and the patient count is dropping, but for every person that leaves that's extra cleaning for us! The PRN employees like me are getting the most work. I'm on a streak of 8 days straight right now. I don't get a day off until Thursday! Hope I can make it...

Lots of work, means lots of interesting observations though. Work is never dull. Today I had a lady talking to me in her sleep. I came in the room with my usual knock on the door and call of, "Housekeeping!" only to find the patient was knocked out sleeping. So I went about my job of cleaning as quietly as possible. But then she started talking to me. Her eyes were closed and I could make sense of most of it so I figured she was just dreaming. Then she started calling out to me saying hello. At first I wasn't sure if I should reply since she still seemed to be sleeping. But she kept saying hello so, finally, I said hello back. She jolted slightly, as if surprised, and mumbled something like, "oh...but I was just..." all the while her eyes still closed. Then her eyes popped open and she looked at me and I said hello again, introducing myself. She seemed a bit confused, no doubt having woken in the middle of a conversation and wondering how much of it was real. Poor thing...I hope I never talk in my sleep like that.

No time or brain power to share more tonight. Hope to write more soon...

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Overflow of Misery

I was glad to be wearing a mask today! There were a bunch of people in the ER who sounded like they were hacking up a lung. It's crazy at the hospital right now! We have been so busy these past two weeks. We have an overflow of patients. Every bed was full today and there were patients in the ER waiting for a bed upstairs to be emptied. By nine o'clock, the ER was filling up with new patients too. Down in the ER, they have beds out in the hallways just to accommodate all the patients surging in. There were people everywhere! Coughing, kids crying, the sound of vomiting, nurses rushing about, doctors being paged overhead...that's just some of the sounds that filled the air. I don't think I've ever seen that many miserable people in one spot. All those sounds filling my head and I couldn't help but think, Jehovah must hear this all the time. I mean, all those people could be in their individual homes feeling miserable and Jehovah would still know what was happening with each and every one of them. That's an amazing thought. How could he hear that and not want to do something about it? I'll be so glad when he does and there will be no more hospitals!

Anyway, needless to say I was busy today. Lots of people means lots of messes. I enjoy people watching while I'm working though. It was neat to see parents singing patty-cake or the hokie pokie with their little ones to distract them from the less than wonderful environment. I get to meet some real characters too...the kind that like to tell you their whole life story or their medical history and such. Is there a polite way of saying, "TOO MUCH INFORMATION!" Just yesterday I had a lady go off telling me all about how she didn't like kids, but she liked sex and so she ended up with four kids anyway...And then there was the lady who decided to explain in detail what type of surgery she had just had. She even showed me where they did the incision. And I can't forget the old war veteran who told me all about how he played a part in defeating the Japs back in the day. I mean seriously, I'm just cleaning your room people! But oh well, it keeps work interesting.

In the ER today, I heard the doctors and nurses talking about one patient that desperately needed to go to ICU, but there were no beds free up there. So they were doing the best they could to stabilize him there in the ER. I could feel the tension in the air. They said he could die at any minute. But they were able to treat him and by the time I left he was much improved. It must feel good to have a day like that with a patient like that. In a hospital you have both triumphs and tragic losses. And somehow the people here learn to carry on through both.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Why the mask?

So I'm starting to compile a list of responses for when someone at work asks me why I'm wearing a mask...

First choice: In accord with the Dread Pirate Roberts, "They're just so comfortable. One day everyone will be wearing them."

Second choice (slightly closer to the truth but greatly exaggerated): "I didn't get the flu shot so if I breath on you, you might keel over and die instantly!"

Another possibility: "It's a masquerade party. You didn't get the memo?"

Do you have any ideas for me? I seriously want to start trying these and see what responses I get. I mean, I gotta wear this mask for about three more months, I might as well have fun with it!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Office Day!

Today was a change of pace for me. Instead of cleaning patient rooms, as is my normal routine, I was cleaning offices in the hospital. Normally, I clean an average of maybe 30 bathrooms a day. Doing offices I cleaned a grand total of 2! It was great! I spent the majority of my day emptying trash bins and vacuuming up those little, round paper punch-outs that people love to leave on the floor.

I did get a little lost. I've only cleaned offices once or twice in my whole time at the hospital and I didn't remember where they all are. There are seriously offices all over the hospital. I kept passing the same people in different areas and they were like, "Wow, you are all over the place today." I got a workout at least. :)

It's interesting that the more I see of the hospital the more I want to see. There is a certain air of mystery that surrounds certain areas that make me curious. For example, it was really fascinating to me the first time I saw the operating room where they perform C-sections. I had never seen an operating room of any kind. Now I'm curious to see the other operating rooms. Not that I want to clean them...I've avoided that so far. Plus, there's this room in the OR suite with a sign that says "Decontamination Room". I really want to see what that looks like. It just sounds dramatic. But I'm rambling now...

One last note: The joking about how I must being doing a hold-up because I'm wearing a mask is getting really old...

Thursday, January 6, 2011

A Tale of Two Doctors

I was working in the ER recently and it reminded me of my own trip to the ER some months back. I strained my shoulder while working and they sent me down to the ER to have it checked out. I was sitting there in pain and Doctor A (as they will be here called) walked in, except I had no idea this was the doctor since she didn't introduce herself to me. She came over asked me some questions, had me test the mobility of my arm, took some notes and left. Her manner was very matter-of-fact, no smile, just right to business. I found her manner somewhat rude because here I was close to tears from the pain and she seemed to almost discredit that it was at all serious.

A short time later, Doctor B (some names have been changed :P) came in. He greeted me with a warm smile, gently shook my hand and told me exactly who he was. He inspected my injured shoulder, carefully feeling the muscles and asking questions to find where the pain was. Afterward, he told me that it was most likely a muscle strain and what care should be taken to let it heal. His gentle voice and kind manner instantly put me at ease. I was reassured at knowing exactly who he was and what he was going to do. He explained exactly what was wrong and what could be done so I would feel better. Now, who of you out there would prefer Doctor B over Doctor A?

Well, at first thought, my instant reaction was, "Absolutely, Doctor B!" But thinking back I realized, maybe I was being too harsh with Doctor A.
I mean, sure she might not have the people skills the Doctor B had, but could she still be a good doctor? Perhaps she is very intelligent, accurate in making diagnoses and writing orders...she does her job well. I'm sure hospitals would love to hire doctors with great people skills who leave great impressions on their patients. But not all doctors are like that. Some doctors are just hired because they know their stuff and they do what they have to do well. I mean seriously, if I'm lying on the operating table, am I gonna care if the surgeon is giving me a friendly smile? No! All I'm really gonna care about is that he knows what he's doing and he can do it accurately. I guess people skills are a plus, but not a job requirement.

Note to Self

Remember: Glass eyes can't see you looking at them as they sit in a cup on the sink.

Monday, January 3, 2011

To Clean or Not to Clean

To clean or not to clean...this is a decision I must make every day at work. You see the problem is, I don't have the luxury of time to clean EVERYTHING. Apparently, the hospital where I work isn't so concerned about having a clean environment. The directors and supervisors are more concerned with cutting hours so they can get their bonuses, or so it seems. And of all the employees whose hours are cut, it is consistently housekeepers.

My complaint is not so much that I'm not getting as many hours as I would like. I mean, sure that is irritating. But what is more irritating is that they simply expect us to do more work in less time. We are assigned a specific area to clean. Rather that area is full of patients or has few patients makes little difference. In addition on weekends, they have reduced staff so each housekeeper is given extra work. So on a weekend like this past one, I find myself faced with my normal 8 hours of work, plus an extra area (which is usually another hour of cleaning). But I am expected to do those 9 hours of cleaning in only 6 and a half hours.

So when one is faced with the impossible like that, one must decide what should be cleaned and what should be passed over. But in a hospital how can you decide what is most important to clean? Do I just clean the patients' rooms, protecting them from getting some infection and getting sicker? If so, I must neglect the staff areas and just hope that my fellow co-workers have a good immune system and won't get sick from the people they are caring for. Whatever I do, it seems impossible to find a satisfying solution. Unless of course, they would just let me do my job and make the hospital a cleaner, safer place for everyone...